For the past forever, we have been discussing the happy subject of dismemberment, paralyzation, blindness, chronic illness and death. It helps my husband sleep better at night knowing that we won't be destitute if he conks (euphemism #1). Me, not so much.
It does make for interesting conversation though.
"Oh, c'mon, hun, you could TOTALLY still do your job without legs. Legs aren't that big a deal to a CFO."
"The chances of you coming down with some funky disease are much more likely than breaking your back. I think."
"So if you're burned from head to toe, will it take you more than five years to recover? Or do we go with the fifteen year long-term disability plan .... It's HOW MUCH? Nah. You'll snap back."
Oh, yeah. Makes for great nighttime relaxation.
So we finally added up how much moo-lah I want if My Man bites the dust (euphemism #2): enough to pay off the house, monthly expenses til the kids are out of school, college tuitions, weddings, missions, and putting me through school so I don't have to eat out of garbage cans, and came up with roughly Bill Gates' net worth. (And apparently we're only having four kids, cuz that's what we budgeted for.)
After many compromises and a few tears, we signed twice as many papers as our mortgage. I'm now prepared for My Worst Case Scenario (euphemism #3).
Sweet dreams, dear.
Then the subject turned to moi. Because seriously, what would My Man DO without me? He can't even pack Little Prince's lunchbox without asking me a question at every step. (Sorry, hun, it's TRUE. And cute.)
Salary.com has a very interesting calculator, determining what a stay-at-home mom is worth. You put in how many kids you have, where you live, and how many hours a week you put in for various job descriptions like:
(they have graciously provided averages)
|Day Care Center Teacher||14.7|| |
|Computer Operator||9.2|| |
|Facilities Manager||8.6|| |
|Van Driver||7.3|| |
|Laundry Machine Operator||7.2|| |
|Chief Executive Officer||5.5|| |
|Interior Designer||0|| |
|Administrative Assistant||0|| |
|Event Planner||0|| |
|General Maintenance Worker||0|| |
|Staff Nurse - RN||0|| |
I tried to say that I put in 45 hours a week as a Day Care Center teacher, Psychologist, Staff Nurse and CEO - each - but apparently
We understand if it sometimes feels longer, but a week can never have more than 168 hours. Please re-enter your hours.Poop.
But hey now. Let's be honest. If I kicked the bucket (what am I on? euphemism#4?), my husband would not hire a full time housekeeper, laundress, cook, chauffeur and - what was it? - event planner. TCHAH. He would have to put the kids in daycare, sure (or move closer to Grandma) - but realistically, he would "just" take over my responsibilities and be very, very tired all the time. He would NOT pay someone a six-figure salary to take over for me.
This site was obviously invented by slightly bitter stay-at-home moms that need a dollar figure assigned to them to feel good about themselves.
Salary.com determined that the time mothers spend performing 10 typical job functions would equate to an annual salary of $122,732 for a stay-at-home mom.Pur-lease.
First of all, tell me truthfully, ladies. Do you REALLY spend 16.5 hours a week cleaning your house? More than two hours a day? Every day?
The truth is, I know how much I'm worth. I'm priceless.
And I feel good about myself.