In which I feel like crap. But hopeful.

So. I got the advanced copy of "The Entitlement Trap." You know, that new book that I told you about?

I was eager to read it. I love the authors. I love the buzz about this book. I love to improve myself as a mother. I dove right in.

I read the first couple chapters. Then I put it down. Then I cried.

It was so agonizingly obvious that my children are there. They are TRAPPED. They are ENTITLED. And I basically feel like the worst mother in the world.

It really isn't a very pleasant feeling.

I spent the next few days analyzing everything my children did. And coming away fantastically depressed. Everything they said and did seemed to point out how completely irresponsible they are - and how I am to blame. I'm a slave, and it's my fault.

While lamenting my fate and that of my posterity, I began talking to myself.

Hey, self. I said. It's been a while. But hey, perhaps you should keep reading that book and stuff. Maybe - just maybe - they'll tell you how to fix it!

Self? - Dude, I thank you.

I haven't finished it yet, but I already feel better. I am being handed tools that will put me on the road to fixing the problem. And I'm not depressed anymore. I'm excited. Hopeful. Sorta-almost-pretty-confident.

I can do this. They're teaching me how.

Please - please - if you haven't already, order this book here.

In which I bask - and beg

I have a hero.

Did you know that?

Her name is Linda Eyre. You may have noticed her on my sidebar. She has nine children, and has written countless books on parenting. My favorite, "A Joyful Mother of Children," has been read so many times that the spine is falling apart. I've underlined and dog-eared it to death. She shares so many REAL stories that keep me laughing and feeling normal, and yet gives me so much hope at the same time. She makes my dreams of raising (spiritual, strong, intelligent, kind, compassionate, responsible, forgiving, open, industrious, patriotic, creative) LEADERS seem achievable. She taught me the value of structure and organization and planning - and the treasure that is flexibility and quality time and just enjoying the moment. She taught me that motherhood is hard work - and more joyful than any other work out there. She taught me concrete skills to help me teach values that we all want for our children.

She and her husband Richard have a new book coming out that our country NEEDS right now - "The Entitlement Trap." It's hitting the stores in September, but the more people pre-order it, the higher it will climb up the best-seller list, and the more people it will reach. This is one of those books that can change the world, one family at a time. We really need to get Congress to get a copy.

If you pre-order now, you'll get a 33% discount ($12 instead of $18) AND get it sooner than the bookstores do. Just go to http://entitlementtrap.com/overview.htm and click on the pre-order tab at the top.

Please do yourself a favor and order this book! 

(And no, I've not been given any incentives to peddle this book. And I've already pre-ordered mine!)

So, I should probably post something

Seeing as I announced I'M BACK, and all.

So.

Soooooooo.

{Did I just hear crickets?}

Oooo! I know what to talk about!

I turned THIRTY.

see that there? that's my st. patty's day shirt. 'cept it says "lucky lass," so I can wear it every day of the year

Confession. I've been wanting to be 30 for a long, long time. I've been telling people I'm "turning thirty" for at least five years.

I think it's cuz people ALWAYS think I'm younger than I am. And it bugs.

As a newlywed, working in a dental office, a patient once asked me why I wasn't in school. As in, HIGH school.

I (not very sweetly) informed her I was a college graduate.

Another time, I was on a plane where all the people younger than 15 were given free headphones. I got one. I was 22.

I've been mistaken for my younger brother's girlfriend more times than either one of us care to recall. He is ten years younger than me.

I once took a group of teenagers to the pool, only to be told we needed an adult with us to swim. I had to produce my drivers license to prove it to the guy that I was, indeed an adult.

Thankfully, now that I'm a little older, and a little fatter, and actually do my hair now, it doesn't happen quite as much. But the past still rankles.

So now - finally! - I can enter the ranks of REAL. ADULTS. (Twenty somethings are only faking it, you know.)

In celebration, my husband and mom threw me a surprise birthday bash. It was awesome. And I don't have a single picture to prove it. Sorry.

Happy Birthday to me!

I've decided to take -

a SUMMER SABBATICAL.

I will probably continue to post about our Date Nights, but for the most part I'll be doing the following:

Monday:

AM - groceries, library
PM - science project

Tuesday:

AM - pool
PM - neighbor's day camp

Wednesday

AM - themed outing
PM - Little Prince art class, "home date" with Sunshine, possibly a movie afterward

Thursday

AM - playdates
PM - home craft projects

Friday

AM - summer movies at the theater (ten movies for six bucks!)
PM - get a babysitter for the two little ones while they're taking their naps, and have a date with the two older ones

We also have daily time blocked out for reading, math and boredom. I'm a big believer in unstructured time. How will they learn to creatively fill their time if they don't have any time to fill?

And following last year's "Surviving Summer," we have weekly themes. Every theme will include a craft, an activity, a recipe, an outing, and a service project. The kids helped me select themes for this year. We've got:

Dinosaurs
Science
South America
Africa
Asia
United States
Trains
Farm
Cars

I'm still available through email (and I'd be happy to email you my list of the fun things we're doing), and I'm sure I'll float around the blogosphere occasionally. But in the meantime, just know I haven't died or anything. I'm just hangin' with these guys.

Have a great summer, and see you in August!

Last day

... of school!

Is it weird that I might be even more excited than my kids?!

Confession: I did not always feel this way. There was a time when I counted down to kindergarten like Christmas. Except a Christmas I got to open every day.

I think the difference is planning. Before, the summer months represented one big long stretch of emptyboringnothingness.

(That sounds terrifying.)

But now that I've learned about routines and systems and scheduling? Summer ROCKS.

Let the festivities begin!

In which I'm pretty sappy

I waited fourteen years for a sister.

Instead I got a brother. And another one. And ANOTHER one.

(I like them all very much, bytheway.)

But all the tear-jerker movies have sisters in them - and the books - and the posters - and the Hallmark walls and mugs.

And I wanted one. They looked like fun.

So my freshman year of high school, at the ripe old age of fourteen, I finally got my wish.

Abigail. 

I carried her around with me everywhere. 'Doted' is a good word to use here. 'Worshipped' works too.

But then - I graduated.

And I moved.

And years went by.

And I got married.

And I kind of got demoted to a remote aunt-type-figure.

And we got totally gypped out of the REAL Sisters Stuff: the fingernail painting, the chick flicks, the gabbing and gossiping and giggling, the trading of clothes.

But now? Now? That kid sister lives with me. And we're making up for lost time.

 We paint our nails.

 And watch chick flicks.

 And gab.

 And gossip.

 And giggle.

 And my clothes and shoes are constantly missing now.

And this past weekend, we passed another Sister Rite: prom.

See that lil' lady there? That's my sister.

She was well worth the wait.

In which I should totally get some free ties

So Easter is a total GIRL thing, you know? Frilly, pink dresses everywhere I see. Lace. Hats. Flowers. It gets annoying.

There ain't much frilly stuff at our house. Or pink, for that matter.

But then I discovered the Matching Tie Guy. And I now know that boys CAN be fun to shop for.

Oh yeah. Ohhhhhhh yeah.

Matching Tie Guy, how I love thee.

My sweet sister took pictures of our matching-ness after church today. The NBC was quite upset that we were delaying his lunch for such a paltry reason as recording something like Easter.

The only time he halfway smiled toward the camera was the only time no one else was.Of course.

And then we started making bunny ears.

And it was all good fun from there.

Three cheers for my sister! She's the best.

In which I WIN SOMETHING AND MUST SHOUT MY EXCITEMENT FROM SOMEPLACE VERY HIGH

Another Cars' quote. Didja catch it?

So, I done won something. Lyramare was doing a giveaway on The Barrel, and (if you haven't caught on already), I WON IT. 

I. Won. I.

My prize arrived in a beauteous box wrapped in a slinky black ribbon. It made me think of French things.

The earrings are gorgeous -a perfect blend of distinctiveness and everyday casual. They match everything.

I wore them yesterday with a different necklace - I don't like to go too matchy-matchy with my accessories - and got lots of compliments. Sunshine said they looked like berries, and tried to eat them.

Silly Sunshine.

So - when I take pictures of myself, at least the first twenty are throwaways. Does this happen to you?

I always have this weird "look natural, look natural, look natural, look natural" look on my face - usually involving lip curling and squinty eyes - that doesn't look natural at all.

It's not until I start cracking up at myself that I find any good ones.

Thank you Lyramare, for not only providing me with pretty things, but helping me not take myself seriously for at least ten minutes.

Another Disney anti-recap

So -

I was sick for two days out of three, and practically had a DayQuil IV tapped into my arm.
My shoe broke on the first day.
It rained the whole second day - especially during the (outdoor) "World of Color" extravaganza.
It was freezing. 'Specially by Arizona standards. And we were SO not prepared. 
There was at least one poopypantsepisode.
There were several almost-poopypantsepisodes. (Why don't they make bathrooms easier to find? ....)
There was lotsandlots of sibling poking.
There was lotsandlots of fighting over who-sits-next-to-mom-or-dad-or-whoever-your-brother-wants-to-sit-next-to-at-the-moment.
There might have been a few meltdowns - some sugar related, some sleep-deprivation related, some for no apparent reason other than what-the-heck-everyone-is-staring-might-as-well-give-them-a-good-show.

But I stand by what I said yesterday -

It was still the perfect family vacation. 

Because everyone was so giddy the whole entire time. Because we never stopped laughing. Because My Man and I got to playlaughhaveaball for three days straight with our kids.

Because we expected it to be perfect. 

So it was - p e r f e c t.

The recap

Actually, no.

No recap.

It was perfect. 

PERFECT.

There are no words.

In which I am happy

Little Prince is growing up.

He'll have you know that he's SIX-AND-A-HALF (don't forget the half) and almost SEVEN. And SEVEN is almost EIGHT and that's HUGE.

I like watching him grow up. I like watching his personality develop and become his own person - even if we clash over it sometimes. I like that he knows what he likes (science) and doesn't like (chores.)

I like HIM. (And isn't that somehow different that loving him?)

I'm especially enjoying introducing him to things that have made me who I am.

Reading the Narnia series with him was an emotional experience for me - how he clapped his hands and exploded in laughter when Aslan came back to life - how solemn he became when Edmund asked forgiveness - whooping and punching the air when the White Witch died. Now he's into Harry Potter, and is fascinated with the intricacies of magic and how Tonks can give herself a pig nose. (So am I.)

I find myself crying over this sharing-of-souls. Although tears aren't a normal reaction to telling stories about Snape. But it's knowing that I'm giving him something he will enjoy the rest of his life. Something that I enjoy. Something that makes both of our hearts soar - frees us from the earth and lets our imaginations reach up toward the sky.

Books. 

There are so many books that have become woven into the very fabric that is me. And to weave them into my son?

...

There are no words.

Yesterday we sat at the kitchen counter for an hour as I told him the fabulous story that is Les Miserables. (I just finished all 1500 pages.) As I unfolded the tale of Jean Val Jean, we listened to that inspired music together - and the tears rained down.

We had deep discussions about the countless moral dilemmas presented in the novel.The bishop lied about the candlesticks - Fantine and the Thenardies' choices - Javert and "all the evil of good." We covered the French revolution, which led to the Egyptian revolution, which led to the Book of Mormon and discussions on kings and absolute power.

Basically, it was awesome.

Because when it comes down to it, I know exactly what I want to give my son.


The world.

In which people pretty much rock

I am a skeptic.

Born and bred.

I always set myself up for failure. I always have a Plan B. I always figure someone will let me down - hard - and that I will fall flat on my face.

But I'm so. Totally. Wrong.

So lately my Little Prince is really into SCIENCE.

"I'm going to be a scientist someday, Mom. Actually. I think I'm one now."

He's always pondering around the house, doing "'spearaments" and drawing elaborate designs for his inventions.

Recently he took it upon himself to make a robot. Not having much luck with cardboard, he appealed to me to write to a REAL scientist. The level of begging and insistence was such that I had to give in.

The letter written:

Dear Scientist - Can you make a robot that will do what I say? I want him to
be 20 feet tall. Also, how do you be a scientist? Do you make stuff? That's
it! Oh, and one more thing. I'd like him to be gray with two hands that can
move and can make stuff and turn into stuff. And he needs to be nice and
obedient. And maybe build a robot school that teaches robots to be good. Okay?
(dictated word for word by his mom, Becky ;o)

Little Prince was absolutely convinced that a 20 foot robot would appear on the doorstep the next morning.

I, of course, set him up to fail:

"Scientists are really busy, sweetheart. He may take a while to write back. He may not even write back at all. We just have to be patient."

But the jokes on me. Because the very next day, waiting in my inbox was the following:

Thanks for submitting your question to the MadSci Network. Some of us here at the MadSci Network do build robots, and some of us use them in our work.

However, *you* can build robots yourself (probably with a little help from your mom). There are many robot kits available for young students like yourself to learn about building and programming robots. One that I am aware of is the "lego mindstorm" system (I'm not endorsing this product, but I know that we have received many questions about it here at MadSci). You can  find more about this system here:
http://mindstorms.lego.com/en-us/Default.aspx

And you can read this answer in our archives about some other robotic kits:
http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2001-12/1009665699.Cs.r.html

When *I* was only a little older than you, I wanted to build robots too. I got my dad to buy me a book (I still have it) called  "How to Build a Computer Controlled Robot", by Tod Loofbourrow.  I never did build a robot, but I learned a lot from reading that book.  See: http://www.amazon.com/How-build-computer-controlled-robot-Loofbourrow/dp/0810456818

Also, you should know that most robots are not shaped like people. We need robots to do things that people cannot or do not want to do, and so they are often shaped very differently from people. In my work, I use two robots (called a BeeBlot and an  AutoReli) that move liquids around for me so that I can go and do other things.  You can see a picture of the BeeBlot robot here:  http://www.beerobotics.com/products_beeblotnh.asp

It doesn't look much like a person does it? :)

In order to become a scientist, I had to go to school for a while. I went to elementary  school (like you), and then junior high-school, high-school, and then college, and then after college I went to graduate school to earn my doctorate degree. All together, that was 23 years of school! But it was in school that I learned everything I need to know  to be come a scientist. So, if you want to be a scientist, and I hope you do, because we always need more scientists, do your best in school, and be sure to ask your teacher if you don't understand something. Of course, you can always ask us too. :)

I don't build robots in my work, but I do make computer programs, which are the things that tell robots what to do. The interesting thing about robots is that they don't  have to go to school to learn to be good -- you just have to write a program that tells them to be good, and then you can give that program to all the robots!

So, I hope that this answers your questions, but if it doesn't, feel free to send us some more!

Cheers,

Steve Mack, Moderator MadSci Network

See that? People. PRETTY MUCH ROCK.

And Little Prince is still floating.

Four day weekend in shorthand

Saddle in the trunk

and boxes for my brother

Drive 12 hours

Rest stops

Arrive at Grandma's house

Grandma gets awesomeamazingsuperincredibleAWARD

Four-wheel (it's a verb)

Start a brass band

Hang out with husband

Play with camera

Drive home

Rest stops

And most of all -

S.M.I.L.E.S