Tuesday, September 28, 2010
So I have carpal tunnel.
It pretty much stinks.
It's been goin' on a couple weeks now, varying between what's-up-with-this-funky-tingly-feeling? to holy-crap-I-want-to-cut-off-my-arms.
Went to the doctor. Liked him a lot. Until he said "take it easy and try not to strain your hands." That's like saying, "oh, and by the way - try not to breathe."
Because LIFE strains my hands. Holding children, changing diapers, making beds, washing floors, folding laundry, kneading bread, sewing quilts, taking pictures, writing notes, playing piano ... all pretty much impossible when the nerve running up and down my arms is on fire. Or numb. Or both.
And I know what you're thinking - why is That Girl typing, for crying out loud? But to tell you the truth, it's about all I can do. (Especially with braces on, it's really no big deal.) Typing isn't weight-bearing, so as long as my wrists are immobile, I'm okay.
Now holding up a book - that's tough.
But I truly think what bothers me most is not what this is doing to me, but what this could mean for my loved ones. Cuz my mom - SHE has struggled with carpal tunnel her whole life. I know what it's like to have to open her a jar, pour her a glass of milk or wring out a towel. All the time.
And it pretty much stinks.
I was never angry at her. I never blamed her. But - it's no fun.
And I do NOT want that for my children.
So right now I'm crying like I have some fatal disease, feeling sorry for myself and doing as much as I can while pretending I'm not in pain. Great plan, eh?
Naw - mostly I'm just counting down til I get bad enough they let me do the surgery. I'll do anything - anything! - to be able to be independent again.
K. Back to your regularly scheduled morning.