Subject: Mr. Squishy
Objective: Using the potty to go "wet" and "stinkers"
Preparation: For two months the subject has informed his superiors that his diaper needs to be changed. Sometimes subject advises of the imminent arrival of wet and stinkers. Has expressed interest in What Big Brothers Are Doing. Very excited about being a "big boy."
Previous Experience: Little Prince went through several "trial runs" until he was three years and eight months. Then his superiors had trouble finding diapers in his size (explanation: in Brazil, they potty train at one years old. Diapers size three and up are impossible to find.) When his superiors buckled down and said We Are Growing Up Today, there were accusations of child abuse. Two months later, Sunshine trained himself. He was not quite two.
5:00AM - Wake up. Feeling very cheerful and ready to take on The Big Bad Toilet. Exercise. Scriptures. Shower. Make bed. Conquer the world.
7:00AM - Mr. Squishy wakes up. We are so excited. We talk about not using diapers anymore. He chooses a pair of Finding Nemo underwear, and marches proudly to breakfast.
7:30 AM - Breakfast over. We sit on the potty and read Dr. Seuss. He thinks this is the coolest thing ever. But nothing happens other than he sits on the potty and reads Dr. Seuss. This is okay. We're good.
7:40 AM - He wets his pants. Feelings: still cheerful.
7:45 AM - Big glass of milk
8:00 AM - More milk
8:30 AM - Big glass of water
8:40 AM - Sit on toilet and read Dr. Seuss. That's about it.
8:45 AM - He wets his pants. We're still cheerful.
9:00 - 10:00 AM - We play with play dough. Big glass of water. Feelin' good. Sunshine thinks Operation Train Little Brother is the greatest idea in the world - we get to stay home and play all day.
10:00 AM - Sits on toilet and read Dr. Seuss. Nothin'.
10:05 AM - Go for a walk. We stay within a five-house radius to the toilet.
10:45 AM - Sits on toilet and read Dr. Seuss. I am not discouraged.
11:00 AM - He wets his pants. It's okay.
11:20 AM - Lunch. He scores a big glass of chocolate milk. This is the best day ever.
12:00 PM - Sits on toilet and reads Dr. Seuss. He is starting to get tired of sitting on the toilet. There are tears.
12:30 PM - He wets his pants. We put on a pull-up in preparation for bed. He really loves his pull-up.
1:00 - 4:00 PM - Naptime. I do not worry about potty training in the slightest.
4:00 PM - He wakes up. He is not happy about putting on underwear. I insist. There are LOTS of tears. He sits on the toilet and we sing Popcorn Popping very loudly. More tears.
4:30 PM - He runs to me saying, "Mommy! Stink! Mommy! Stink!" I am thrilled. We run to the toilet. It is occupied. Mr. Squishy poops his pants. Not happy about more underwear.
5:30 PM - Dinner. More chocolate milk.
6:00 PM - He sits on the toilet. Very, very sad boy.
6:15 PM - He wets his pants. I am starting to wonder if he is, in fact, NOT READY.
7:30 PM - Bedtime. He actually hugs his diaper.