Friday, September 18, 2009

In which I have an epiphany


Yesterday I attended a women's meeting entitled "Super Mom, Molly Mormon, and YOU." They had all kinds of bee-u-tiful tables decorated to represent different aspects of a Super Mom. (PTO Mom, Cool Mom, Soccer Mom, Spiritual Mom, Chef Mom, Fitness Mom, etc.) Their tongues must have overextended themselves into their cheeks.

They didn't have a table for Slightly-Insane-and-on-the-Verge-of-Tears-Mom. I looked.

The meeting was excellent. Uplifting. Inspiring. I realized once again that I can't do this alone. I can't be the perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect teacher, perfect neighbor ... I can't be perfect. And that's okay.

I cried a lot.

This morning I woke up refreshed. Ready. Awesome. Even attractive.

Sent Little Prince off to school and packed the wee ones off to my exercise class. Today was yoga. I was in a very yoga-ish mood, too. Ready to get in tune with my inner spirits, and all that jazz. The room was darkened, soft yoga-ish music playing. I think there were winds and waves involved. Children played happily by their mothers' mats. But not mine.

First Ouro Branco informed me that he wanted LIGHTS! NO DARK! in a very loud three-year-old voice during the warm up.

Mr. Squishy sat on my foot and cried during Warrior Three. And Triangle Pose. And Downward Dog.

Ouro Branco climbed on top of me during my Sun Salutation.

They both screamed every time the instructor told us to breeeeeeeeeathe.

Mr. Squishy ripped out my (fine tooth) headband during Child's Pose. Along with several hairs.

Ouro Branco dumped my ice-cold water bottle on the mat right during a lunge.

We left early.

Face burning, I was gritting my teeth and repeating the words, "they're just kids, they're just kids, they're just kids." A little different than "OM," but it worked. We piled in the car, all of us pouting, and the Primary CD that was playing previously turns on. Third verse of "The Family is of God."

A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare,
To nurture and to strengthen all her children.

She teaches children to obey, to pray,

To love and serve in the fam’ly.


Pretty sure I laughed. Then cried hysterically.

Last night one of the speakers gave insight into WHY we can't do it all. She said that if we were able to do everything we wanted to do, we wouldn't be able to show Heavenly Father what our priorities are. It is only when our time is limited that we display our true choices.

Lately, my priorities seem to be laying down, reading, laying down, surfing the net, and laying down.

Granted, I'm not feeling well. First trimesters, in a word, suck. (I hate that word. But "stink" doesn't have quite the same effect.) There are times and seasons for everything, and right now my season is growing a baby.

BUT.

I can do better. I know I can.

I used to be a pretty hands-on mom. We had Mommy Mondays and Mommy Dates and did CRAFTS and stuff. Now I consider it an accomplishment if I merely observe them playing at least once a day.

I can do better. I know I can.

Because my priorities are NOT laying down and reading. My priorities are these guys.

And that's ALL. Yoga shmoga.

OM.

21 comments:

gigi said...

Hang in ther little mama!

melissa said...

I am having a bad day with my 2 out of 3 kids I read this and it put it all in perspective for me. I can't do this alone

Becca said...

I have a prenatal yoga video I do at home with my toddler climbing on my back and giggling at me in downward facing dog. Lets just say, its way easier to deal with her at home with a video I can turn off than it would be with lots of others around.

Oh, as a totally funny aside, my hubby said maybe he should consider a surgical contraceptive measure because I am not the most loving person while pregnant. Oh lets face it, I am short tempered, under-rested, and full of to-do lists that never get completed. (I laughed at him because I am pregnant with #2, so his comment is sort of silly.)

Kristi said...

I love this! Reprioritising is something I feel like I have to do daily, sometimes hourly!!! You are doing awesome!!!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I couldn't help but notice that in that graphic/picture, the supermom's family is NOT very happy. Sometimes it's just not worth it to "get it all done." You're right on, and having the same battle we ALL have OFTEN, which is evidence (in my opinion) that we're on the right track.

Happy Mom said...

Beautiful family!!!

I'm finally in the stage of life where I can exercise without a multitude of interuptions, and I confess that it's bliss! But it took me almost 24 years to get to that point! (sorry, I don't mean to be discouraging--there was so much that was joyous along the way that the time flew by!)

Don't be too hard on yourself! Although we could always do better, we also need to sometimes accept what is and not beat ourselves up over it!!! You'll get back to Mommy Monday's and crafts and stuff eventually.

BTW, I always wish I knew the names of the art work on the right side of your blog. I know some of them, but others are unfamiliar and intrigue me, but, without names, I don't know how to find them.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

When I do yoga at home my girls do it with me....when they're not climbing all over me. On the bright side, it's an excellent ab challenge during the bridge. ;o) I like what you shared about showing our priorities. It's something I've been struggling with lately too. I guess we're all a work in progress.

Lara said...

You know, I have been having a similar sort of epiphany lately. It's all about my choices. And I need to let some things go. It's hard, but the kids are top priority. For sure.

Sarah said...

You're so right, sometimes we get caught up in ourselves and we don't put the right thing first.

But, dear girl, don't forget that the Mom must be well to take care of the kids. Any Mom who sacricies herself completely to put everyone else first is all used up. You're important too, call a sitter and go to Yoga then come home and do Mommy Day. I wish I lived closer, I'd be you're Yoga sitter in a flash.

Love you.

wonder woman said...

So, have I mentioned lately that I love that girl?

I've been thinking quite a bit about things of this nature all week. I've wanted to blog about it, but blogging ends up taking time away from the ones I need to be with.

If only we could be crafty together. You with the ideas and the laying on the couch and telling me what to do, and me with enough energy to wrangle little boys. (Most days. Some days.)

Someday.

Melanie J said...

I absolutely loved what the teacher said about priorities. That really makes a lot of sense.

Brittany Ann said...

I adore you, and someday, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. You amaze me. Thank you for this message, it was exactly what I needed.

Erin said...

I had never thought about the fact that we have so many things to do, and only a limited time, so we can show what our priorities are. Thanks for the great thinking material...

Kazzy said...

Yoga shmoga~ love it!

Hey, I remember those teeth-gritting times. It is really hard to keep perspective and to not lose your cool. We are all pulling for ya!

Mommadj5 said...

Mmmm.....this one makes me "crazy" in so many different ways. Yes, I agree with everything you and your friends said. I love the thought-provoking and inspiring messages. Up until the BUT......Your priority right now is "growing the baby". That means sometimes you have to "lay down". The kids will learn (and it is not a bad lesson) that THEIR priority right down is to help you and let YOU be "first" for a little bit. Does that mean you can't have a Mommy Monday and crafts and dates on occasion? Of course not - it just slows down. You get the drift - in other words - DON'T FEEL GUILTY - in a round about way you are still putting the family first - #4 needs you right now!!! I know you - you are still giving out hugs & kisses and doing cool things with them - so don't sweat this brief interruption of the "normal" routine. So easy to say and so hard to remember....why is that. Stuff like your Super Saturday sure help....

The Motherboard said...

This post really resonated with me. It reminded me of that whole talk by Elder Oaks a couple of years ago about the good better and best...

Thanks for writing this. It really resonated with me.

Kimberly said...

This all sounds so familiar..except I'm way to lazy to even TRY to do Yoga. You rock. Really. Even, no...especially...when you feel like you don't.

DeNae said...

You know, I'm kinda with Mommadj5 up there (and that is one groovy blogging name. sorta sounds like a fancy sports car...)

When I hear a pregnant mom with three small kids say things like, "I could do better," I hear MY least favorite word creeping in:

"SHOULD".

At which point I want to take her by the hand, lead her to the couch, and teach her my personal mantra which I say all the time as of five seconds ago:

"Should...sucks."
"Should...sucks."

Aaaaaah...I'm feeling better already.

rad6 said...

ok, love the thought about not being able to do it all and that it shows our priorities. Mine need an adjustment.
Glad we are not doing it ALL, that makes me tired to even think about.
Thanks for your thoughts here, they helped my day turn out better.

Tami said...

When my big kiddos were toddlers I thought I would try yoga. I put in the tape, listened to the lady tell me to find my quiet place, and promptly turned off the TV. Quiet place with little ones running around? That is crazy talk. Instead we did nature hikes. Little boys need to RUN!
I completely remember that guilt phase you are in. If I lay down, I'm shirking the big kiddos. . .if I get up too much I'm hurting the baby. . . I agree with the ladies above, cut yourself some slack. You are a great mommy, and quiet reading on the couch is very nice for little men.

InkMom said...

Sigh.

I love this post. I left it unread for several days so I could read it again and again, just to remind myself of a few great things you said.

Love you. And thanks.