Wednesday, January 20, 2010

why i go natural. now shut up.

I've had three babies one time each without drugs.


















I generally get two reactions when I tell people this:

One - aspirations against my sanity.
Two - defensiveness.

I must say that *I* rarely bring it up. I don't flaunt it. I do not have I AM TOUGH tattooed on my forehead. I don't pass around fliers or join Facebook groups or try to convince anyone to do it "my way." I mention it when a circle of ladies are swapping birth stories - as seems to happen way more than is probably healthy.

I do not say a word against the medical community. I do not preach against The Evil Anesthesia. I had three beautiful experiences that brought me joy, end of story -

To the tune of: "You're crazy!" "So you like pain?" "What a glutton for punishment." "I would never in a million years be that stupid."

This offends me. I do not mock their decision. Why mock mine?

And second, it seems that most listeners get very defensive - without any offense from me. I get the feeling they think I am awesomer-than-thou for going natural. They think I think I'm tougher. Or healthier. Or better, somehow.

WhatEV.

So ya wanna know WHY I go natural? I shall tell you, my friend. And then, perhaps, print this off and carry it around with me.

I have a cousin. Say hi.


We're the same age ('cept I'm older by SIX WEEKS), and I think of her as my sister, even if I don't call her as much as she would like. (Hi, babe!) She married the year before I did, and babies soon followed. I listened to every detail she shared with me, knowing that my time would soon come.

She, like me, planned on getting an epidural with her first. We both just always assumed we'd get one. (Doesn't everybody?) But due to circumstances beyond her control, she couldn't. It was involuntarily natural. And she had a terrible time of it.

I listened to her horror story, and vowed that I would prepare for "the worst," just in case I couldn't get the drugs for some reason. Truly, as a back up plan. Because you have to be emotionally prepared for that kind of thing - not to mention physically.

I did some research and decided I liked the Bradley method best. I read the books, did the exercises, practiced practiced practiced - and I did it.


And I liked it.

So I did it two more times.













That's really it. I'm not better than anyone else for it. I'm also not crazy.

I plan on going natural for #4, but I'm also not against an epidural if, say, my pelvis breaks. Or I'm in labor for 42 hours. Or this time it hurts way-freaking-more than it usually does. (Which is still a lot, I'll have you know.)

But the plan thus far is no meds.


Is that so hard to understand?!

58 comments:

Kazzy said...

You are a trooper with a great hubby and three macho men. You do it the way you want, Lady! Yay for babies!!!

Brittany Ann said...

I don't think your crazy. Birth is different for every woman, and each one should be allowed to experience birth how she wants. If you want to do that natural, that's great! As women I think we lean towards feeling inadequate, in most things. Have you ever heard women discuss the woman in the ward who keeps a perfect house, or raises perfect children it seems to always be accompanied by other gossip treasures such as "I saw her without makeup on once, it was awful," or "Yeah, but I heard she can't cook worth a dime." It's kind of sad that we have this whole competition thing going on. I think it's awesome you can go natural.

Kristina P. said...

I think it's an intensely personal decision. Good for you for standing up for your decisions.

Risa said...

Dear That Girl,
You don't know me, i'm one of those silent blog-stalkers, but I LOVE reading your blog. I am currently pregnant with numero uno and this is a subject that I keep going back and forth on. Due to health reasons there is a possibility that I wont be able to have an epidural so I likewise like the idea of having a back up plan. When we asked my doctor for his thoughts on birthing classes he said any but the Bradley method because he feels that it leaves all the power with the father and the mother doesn't have much say. I admit I haven't done much research on my own yet about this. I have heard people say that they were groggy after delivery when they had drugs and they enjoyed the experience so much more when they went without. I'm just worried since i'm fairly confident i'm going to have big babies (my mom's last one was 10 lbs 9 oz). I think my main question is why do you like doing it naturally? What makes it worth the pain for you?

Stephanie said...

I have been thinking about this a lot--natural vs. epidural as I am (slowly) coming around to wanting babies. Im glad to hear what you have to say on it, to know it's doable, mainly because i haven't heard much from the natural corner. Now I need to go find out who Bradely is and if I need to get to know him better ;)

oh ya, and eye roll, eye roll, people can be such dorks. Here if we start talking about babies (which is a lot since the SIL is pregnant) people are shocked that I dont want to have a c-section.

Megan said...

I'm also a natural momma--except I wear my badge with honor and am way less humble about the situation than you. I've birthed 3 small turkeys, 2 on pitocin, and believe me... after #3 I told myself that if I were crazy enough to do it again that I WOULD get the drugs. However, having woken up in the middle of a kidney biopsy as a small child, I don't think I could ever willingly sit there and get an epidural. Guess it's a good thing I'm not having any more kids...

*hugs*

Julie said...

I had an epi with #1 and planned to do as well with baby #2 but she came too fast and I had no choice. I wish I had been wise enough to be prepared with a back up plan. I was freaking out the whole time and because of that, I was unable to focus on the awesome thing that I was experiencing. After it was all over with, I thought, "Gee, that wasn't THAT bad." Kudos to moms everywhere for doing it their way. But, no matter what your intended plan is, a backup plan is a great idea.

Riddle Girl said...

I've had one each way...Both sides have pluses and minuses. Natural is surely more painful, but I LOVED being able to get up and walk around shortly after delivery instead of having to wait for the epidural to wear off so I could feel my legs again.
It's funny how these things truly can (and do) spark debate. Just like breastfeeding. We are all different and do the best we can with what we have!
Thanks for your fun blog! I always enjoy reading it!!!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Oh, That Girl!

Maybe it's the use of the phrase "natural birth" that rubs people the wrong way? You know how tricky semantics can be!

I had #1 with an epi, #2 and #3 with just a little help from "my friends".

But I consider all three of my births to be pretty "natural". When people ask me if I had a "natural birth" it's confusing...weren't they all "natural"?? :)

I know what you are saying though!

Fig said...

I'm with you mostly. Except for "Doesn't everybody?" Because I've never in my life thought that an epidural sounded like a good time. Ever.

Unmedicated is my FIRST plan. And I, too, am offended by the way some people react to that. As if I'm stupid, or crazy, or trying to prove something, or my personal favorite: "there's no way you can do that."

So I don't talk about it. That way there is peace in the land. :-)

Thanks for sharing.

Hilary said...

I rarely mention I'm planning a natural birth, 'cause I don't want anyone else's opinion on it (or their horror story), and 'cause it's personal and I'm not doing it to be 'better than' anyone (nor am I opposed to an epidural if things went poorly or longer or more painful than expected). I had a horrible experience with an epidural birth and vowed to try something new. So for me, my decision was to do something different so I didn't end up in the same position again.
I also don't mention very often that I breastfeed beyond a year. People feel it's perfectly appropriate to tell me it's weird or abnormal or even gross. Or they say something to the effect of anyone who breastfeeds to 18 months old just thinks they're better than other Moms. My decision to nurse my babies to a time that works best for us is so completely personal, that I tend to keep it quieter, not out of embarassment or something, but just 'cause I don't want to hear about it, nor do I want anyone to think my actions are an indication of any kind of 'judgment' on my part.
I'm glad you've found what works well for you and yours! :-)

heidizinha said...

For me it's like feeding my family all organic food or making my own compost pile or having preschool in my home. I know all those things will be better for us, but I'm too cheap/lazy/scared/sissy to do it. So instead of applauding those who do, I loathe them in a very loving way. Because they can do it but I can't (forgetting that I rock at many other things. Seriously, you should try my bread).

But I do applaud you for being so awesome and having the courage to try something I don't think I ever will. I'm just too sissy. But isn't this all things we already knew? You rock and I will forever worship you.

The end.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Isn't it funny how we look at things? I always thought of the epidural as the back up plan, even though I always intended to get one. I never planned for it to not work. Even though my mom couldn't have one because of allergies. It all worked out, but I feel a little dumb now. ;o)

Good for you for doing what's best for your family. It sounds so easy, but it's one of the hardest things to actually do.

heidizinha said...

Btw...I know you know I say everything with a touch of sarcasim, but do your readers? I wonder how many of them think I'm crazy....

Bridget said...

It's interesting that you've gotten so much animosity for your decision. I received similar comments from some family members when I actively (meaning we attended natural birthing classes - hypnobabies) planned on going natural with my first. But mostly people said things like, "good luck" or "let me know how it goes!", and yes, sometimes they sounded a little more sarcastic than sincere. But really I think they were just in awe that someone would choose to that and maybe, like you said, a bit defensive. I also have several friends where "natural" is the only way to go, so I feel like the feedback I received is pretty balanced. By the way, I ended up getting an epidural with my first, but not with my second. Both were awesome experiences, as well as very different! I would never judge anyone for either decision.

wonder woman said...

I don't think heidizinha's crazy. (Except that her name is hard to spell!)

I went natural with #1. Except I was also induced and it was a horrible experience. I planned on walking, bouncing on my ball, taking a bath.....all to be hooked up to 5 monitors and not even able to use the bathroom when I needed it. I had a horrible nurse and it was just NOT a good experience.

I went into labor naturally with #2 and asked for the epidural consent form as soon as I got to the hospital. I'm so glad I did -- #2 was posterior and it hurt something fierce. Also, I was ready to push 30 minutes before my doc arrived. I don't think I'd have been able to make it if I hadn't had an epidural.

That said.....I'm excited to see what happens this time. Maybe if she's not posterior I'll go natural again.

Alright. Done hijacking. Gonna do a post of my own about it. And I think you're awesome. I think it's great that you've found something that works so well for you. It's rotten that you get such negative responses.

rad6 said...

I think it is the same with everything... big decisions that people make differently... others always have to make a comment. I have six kids. I had my first four in 4 1/2 years. I am still amazed at the judgemental things people would say to me ALL THE TIME... so, your subject doesn't come up as much and you hear it just the same... it probably stands out more or people are sensitive about... but really don't you think it is the same about so many things.
Would be the same about religion if people would dare talk about it more.
The natural vs. meds childbirth is NOT the issue here... it is our judgemental human nature and our lack of ability to control it at times.
I haope you have beautiful experience number 4!!! SO EXCITING!!!!

kerri said...

I "stepped it up" a notch w/our recent #4 and went to a midwife - in a birthing center. *gasp* Not a hospital? In my circle there have even been a few home births so I've felt relatively safe but in the larger community I absolutely get the same reaction you write about here.

And I didn't really think I was "stepping up" like being more awesome or more risky or something... I just wanted more personal relationship/support. Plus it saved literally THOUSANDS of dollars. It was a pretty awesome experience, but I don't think it makes me any cooler.

Lara said...

I totally get it. But then, I went natural with all of mine, too. I did hypnobirthing and I LOVED it.

I totally understand people who want to get an epidural. It just wasn't the right choice for me. I don't get the defensiveness when I mention I never had one, because that happens to me, too.

Kristi said...

I hear ya - I wish people would realise what a tough decision it is either way! Most of my friends go natural - a lot do home births - so I am judged the opposite way, because I HAVE to have an epidural, because of an anurysm my neorosurgeon doesn't want bursting during labor. I say way to go and that you are very blessed to have a body that will allow you to bring your children into the world with just your strenth and the help of the Lord!

DeNae said...

The thing that impresses me the most about this post is the fact that you planned and prepared. And I also appreciate that so many of your commenters have shared experiences where things didn't go as planned.

It takes a great deal of mental strength as well as flexibility to get a baby here. Having a plan and then the willingness to abandon it when the baby isn't cooperating is the key.

Due to an interior that looks like it was designed by Picasso on acid, I ended up having 4 C-sections. And I am amazed at how many people there are from the "natural" camp who respond with pity (if I explain why I had the surgeries) or disdain (if I decide it isn't any of their friggin' business) because of it.

It's like the biblical "reproach" of not being able to conceive at all has been replaced with a modern version having to do with the way we got them here.

We all end up with babies. Isn't that enough?

kristi said...

LOL, thanks for the little shout out. I love you!!!!! You would have thought that I would have learned from that 1st experience of not having the epidural and not being prepared, but no. I went in with the 2nd one again assuming that I would be able to get that epidural and not preparing for the chance that I might not get it. However, like the 1st I was too late and again didn't get the epidural and had to deliver without. Man oh man the 2nd hurt more than the first (it could of had something to do with #2 being 3 1/2 lbs bigger than #1). I just never learn my lesson :) Thankfully #3 and #4 were drug filled and full of bliss (for me at least). Maybe if I actually have a #5 I will borrow your books and prepare myself just in case :)

I say if you want to go natural and actually enjoy it then for sure do your thing!!!!! You know you can do it. Heck, I know I can do it too, I'm just to scared to actually do it on purpose.

Margaret said...

That is your own decision and no one has the right to say anything bad about that. Heck I commend you because you can do it natural and not need the drugs! You are a strong person!

Becca said...

I am glad I didn't have my hopes set one way or another (by the time everything was said and done I had epidurals with both, one was sort of an emergency one to boot), and I think that is best. I know many people that were horribly disappointed by how labor went because they did/didn't want something to happen. In my experience, you gotta be prepared to go with the flow when it comes to babies. They will come when they want, and they will come how they want. As long as they make it alive I have everything I have asked for. Except maybe chocolate during labor, they really should give that stuff out. A fudgecicle would be way better than the popsicles they offer.

Boy Mom said...

Why oh why do we women need to feel validated in everything that we do by having every other women do it the same as we did or credit us for being better, cuter and gooder than they?

We are all unique and beautiful, The work of one is not the work of another. The experiences I choose to know myself are not the experiences you need to choose.

I wish we could begin to trust ourselves and our goodness so that we can trust others and their goodness, perhaps then oneness could be realized.

Great post, That Girl. May your upcoming delivery be uniquely, beautifully yours.

Mommadj5 said...

Your "post-birth" pictures say it all! To each his(her) own. Love you.

janel said...

"...as seems to happen way more than is probably healthy" is perhaps the best line of this post. Which leads one to wonder why we women feel inclined to converse about the intimate details of our labor stories on a regular basis. Is it a pride issue--a trophy, of sorts? Is it insecurity? Is it our own personal form of birth control?

And have you ever noticed yourself tuning out others' birth stories (perhaps anticipating the perfect moment to insert your own)? (When I say 'you' I actually mean me.)

Rachel Sue said...

1. I don't think I have ever seen such good post-birth pictures ever. You don't look like you just gave birth.

2. I'm with you on this one. I had my last one natural, and the 3 before that with drugs. The last one was my favorite. But it took work. I never advise anyone to go into birth without some kind of classes or training or research. That, whatever you decide to do, is the key.

Just SO said...

I didn't have an epidural with my first three but I did have a "drugs" to "take the edge off".

My fourth child I went in with such hard and heavy back labor that I asked for one as soon as we arrived at the hospital. I cried for about 20 minutes after I got it....not because I felt that I was "Wimping out" but because I was terrified.

Terrified of something going wrong...getting one of those horrible headaches or something like that. I was fine and it's a good thing I had the epidural because the doctor ended up having to reach in and turn my baby around so I could deliver her...yes he did.

I am right there with you. I honestly couldn't care less if a woman chooses to have drugs, and epidural or even a c section. It's her choice and sometimes it's not. I think you were and are wise to be ready for any situation that may arise.

Good luck with number four.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

You'll do great! Even if you freak out and ask for seven epidurals (which you won't). You'll do just great.

j@nAe said...

My mom had her first seven natural, and got her first epidural with number eight. She loved it and recommended we get epidurals, so I did. With the first two. But number three came too quickly and I did it natural. And you know what? I loved it. I don't know if I'd ever do it again, but it definitely made me feel like I could be part of the natural-birth club. It was ten thousand times more painful, but also ten thousand times more euphoric. I never really had that euphoria after epidurals (I still loved my baby and was excited, and all that), but man, when I went natural the feeling post delivery was like nothing I've ever felt. It was as close to exquisite eternal joy as I've ever gotten. WOW! That said, I think I'll get an epidural for number four. :)

ps. this is not an announcement. I'm planning on having a fourth eventually, but not quite yet.

Happy Mom said...

I've done five with epi's and one au natural (but not on purpose). I loved how much quicker the recovery was on the natural one.

I am truly amazed that we criticize each other over this issue. If the baby came out, it was a succes whether or not drugs were involved!

Katrina said...

Amen. Lots of people think epidurals are great and have fine experiences with them. That is fantastic. They freak me out however and so I prepared using Hypnobabies to go natural. I plan on doing the same again. Natural birth does not have to be the big scary thing that so many people think it is. You really can prepare and have a good experience... there are lots of ways to minimize the pain if you prepare. It is as much a mental/emotional feat as it is physical...probably more so.

KC Mom said...

If you like it...who cares! I've done it both ways...no matter what it's still hard!

Jill said...

3 homebirths here. So, I've heard it! And honestly, after my first, I dished out plenty of it from the other side too. Because it is awesome and it stinks to have one's awesomeness belittled. So, now I try to focus on whatever awesomeness each woman is experiencing for whatever reason.

But still, I'll say it, because it's true: NATURAL birth is desireable, rewarding, and doable 90% of the time.

Tobi said...

My first was an epidural baby. My second came so fast that their was no time for any pain medication. And guess what? I recovered and felt A LOT better after my natural birth than I did with my medicated birth. So I converted over to the "natural" side. But I think you have to do whatever makes you as a woman the most comfortable. No judging!

Stepper the Mighty said...

That is awesome.

Both the going natural (just because you like it) and the post.

I wonder - is the recovery after a no-interference birth quicker (body: hoo, yeah! I am Queen! I can do anything!) or slower (Holy schmoley, didn't see that bus coming!)?

I've heard both ways.

In any case - you look amazing after all three. I like it when new moms ride that bliss and glow with it.

Stepper the Mighty said...

Also: Boy Mom, thanks for that. Really.

MommyJ said...

heh. So much for not very many comments, huh?

My sister in law delivered two with no drugs, cause she was paying out of pocket and drugs cost much money... i was there for one, it was awesome.

I think it's silly to debate, and think it's silly when Moms judge others. I'm a c-section only kind of Mom... not by choice, but because of excessive scar tissue and whatnot. Sometimes I get a little sad I don't get to experience the whole delivery process again (my first wasn't a c-section) but eh. I'd much prefer a uterus that hasn't ruptured.

There are so many things that contribute to our individual decisions. I say, more power to each of us for choosing what makes us feel best. The same rule could be applied to breastfeeding as well.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I have given birth to three 8 and a half pounds or bigger babies. Not one of which came on their own. They all had to be evicted (guess I scared them or something). I did not go drug free. I noticed that right about the time they upped the pit drip- I wanted to cry really a lot (although I didn't- I just couldn't breathe). I don't know any other way to have a baby. My older sister had all of hers "natural", and early- as in - surprise, I am coming out now- one daughter was born on the floor of the guest bedroom. She didn't choose "natural" birth- it chose her. I don't regret my experience- other than the whole going way over so the doctor finally takes pity on you part. She only really could have done without the whole giving birth unexpectedly at home thing. We both have 4 beautiful children- and 8 very different birth stories.
Hey- one of mine, I picked up at the mall- no joke. And- that was my hardest "delivery" of them all. There isn't really an epidural for that.

I applaud you- and just like breastfeeding is a personal choice- so is birthing. Why do people think it is any of their business any way? I did have a woman ask me why I had my babies induced- I told her because after the additional week or two, I was tired of them :) I notice these days- a lot of people are "tired" by 36- 38 weeks and somehow their doctors give them an early out pass. humph.

RH said...

I had the perfect easy delivery with our first (thank you inducuction and epi) and a crazy, intense no time for anything more than a quick shot for the 2nd.

The first was great, except that they wouldn't let me get up for what seemed like forever to shower.

The second one, I had crazy in my mind, inability to focus, and speaking in tongues, NOT because of the pain, but because of the drug the put in my IV. BUT I got to shower in less than an hour...

Which helped me to sleep, and not feel disgusting...

Although I will never have to go through it again, I don't really know which way I would go.

Do I want to have little to no zero pain, or the ability to shower sooner than later?

SHOWER PLEASE!

melissa said...

I had my baby boy Monday he was 9lbs and 21.25 inches long. I congratulate you on going all natural. my labor was 3 hours start to finish I am glad i had an epidural labor was so fast for me I torn a good one . I am glad I didn't feel the tearing until after

MotherToMany said...

I've only been told repeatedly the I was "Brave". But then again I've given birth several different ways.

#1 was a scheduled c/s, that I didn't want, but she was breech.
#2 we planned for a hospital VBAC and I ended up getting an epidural thinking I'd be in labor forever. Instead once it took she started coming out. So much so the nurse didn't believe me when I told her, until she checked and realized baby was crowning!
#3 We had an unassisted Waterbirth. Fast furious and WONDERFUL!
#4 Unassisted "land" birth and I realized after that that water is nature's natural epidural.
#5, #6 & #7 were all unassisted waterbirths as well!

I LOVE my UC waterbirths.

This baby will also be an unassisted waterbirth. My oldest daughters are excited to yet again witness the miracle of birth!

My choices of course aren't for everyone and I certainly wouldn't tell other people HOW to birth because we each know how weaknesses and strengths. However a natural birth is quite painful compared to an epidural birth, LOL.

BTW My 10lbs 9oz baby was one of my easiest to give birth to and I didn't tear at all, LOL

Lisha said...

Good on you!! I too have given birth naturally to three boys with no pain medication. It was our plan, it worked, it hurt, but each time I was very focused with my breathing to get me through each contraction.

I too have had people thinking that I think I'm more wonderful than them, which is not the case. It was my choice and it worked beautifully for me.

I hope all goes well with #4 for you, you look so lovely after giving birth too!

Lishaxx

Kimberly said...

It is such a sad thing that someone else's perceived success can make us defensive and even hostile at times. I've totally caught myself doing it and I'm trying to kick the habit and applaud people instead. It doesn't make me less awesome if the people around me are awesome too or, heaven forbid, awesome-er.

Love what you wrote here. Personally, I've had one with drugs, one naturally, and one by c-section. One thing they all had in common? They all HURT (especially since my epidural wore off before it was time to push - but that's a whole other story).

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is - well said!

Beeswax said...

Oh boy. I've done it both ways (#4 natural by choice), and you know what? I didn't enjoy it drug-free. I was much more present and excited during the epidural births. I'm pregnant now, and this one might be a C due to previa, but if not I'll go back to the epidural. To each her own!

Nikki said...

The thing I have against epidurals is they don't always work to stop the pain- at least not for me. And then my legs end up being completely numb and I can't get up and go see my baby who inevitably ends up in the NICU.

My fourth was natural because it happened so freaking fast. I wish I had taken the Bradley method classes or read the books. But I had an aggressively helpful nurse. She helped me survive. I will NEVER forget the rush of pure adrenaline I felt immediately after giving birth and realizing I SURVIVED. I DID IT!

Then my twins were c-section. And sadly, the anesthesia did not work.

So now I'm thinking that the next pregnancy ;) I'll go natural. Because it can't possibly hurt as bad as a natural c-section with cantaloupe size ovaries.

Nikki said...

Oh goodness. I've been reading the comments on this post. They are hilarious!

I did want to add, I NEVER judge the way someone chooses to deliver. Not even in my head.

The Prices said...

I had a bit of the opposite feeling....My first two were natural, then for number 3 I got the epidural which turned out to be a blessing for reasons that would make this comment too long. So anyway, I felt so guilty that I was even considering getting it and I felt like people would judge me for getting it....then I got over it. That we even deliver gigantic human beings out of our bodies at all should allow us all to feel tough and totally awesome!

Katy said...

Excellent, excellent post. I'll admit, sometimes I initially blurt out stuff like "Oh my heck are you crazy?!", but then immediately there follows a huge sense of awe and respect. My pain tolerance, on a scale of 1 to 10, hovers near a negative 2. I haven't given birth yet, but I have struggled with pregnancy and birth fears for awhile. My mindset has always been "the less pain the better!" So...people like you are my heroes. Thanks for sharing this post. (Tim was reading over my shoulders and was like "Wow...she is such. a. cool. person." Amen!)

Harmony said...

... and I find myself saying, "how wonderful I don't have to worry about this!"

And, my "birthing stories" are way different, and much less physically painful :) Benefit #1 of adoption.

Good luck me friend!

Lisa S said...

Birthing is a very personal thing and I have birthing envy. I could not avoid both my c-sections even if I wanted. Recuperation from the surgery is the pits and really dampened the joy of being a new mother. My pelvic region is not adequate enough to deliver naturally. I say hooray and fantastic for you. I am very happy for your ability to do this. For my first birth I did go to Lamaze classes. The nurse teacher had us go around and say why we were taking the class..When it got to me I said that I wanted to know how to breath well enough to manage the pain but if things got to bad I wanted the epidural. You wouldn't believe the gasps..It was so funny. May god bless your fourth delivery to be as good as the first three.

Melanie J said...

I think how we raise them is far more important than how we have them. I'm a big fan of epidurals but I always have to be induced and I always labor over 24 hours, so it works for me. I think I need to do a better job of not getting defensive when people say they go natural, but it would help if they were all as levelheaded about it as you are!

Megan, Peter, and Benjamin said...

You probably already know this, but I went natural with my little man. The hardest part I have with women who find out that I didn't have an epidural is the instant feeling of inadequacy they get if they did get an epidural. They feel ashamed! And, I make sure that I let them know that both ways got the same end result, a beautiful baby! And that is something to be very proud of, however they come into the world. Thank you for sharing your story! Love you!

Twinmomwv said...

I'm with you sistah! I once told a friend that I had my last naturally, in a birthing tub and she asked if I got a medal for it.

I'd had epidurals with my first two pregnancies because no one ever made me feel like I could do it any other way. Then my SIL had her fourth naturally and lent me Birthing From Within when I became pregnant with my fourth. It changed my life and the whole way I view childbirth. It was also an amazing, spiritual experience and I bonded faster with that baby than my other three. I know that it's not for everyone, but it is for ME!

Liz said...

Wow, that is amazing. I am envious that you had that great experience, I had a horribly-long labor that resulted in a c-section...I always wanted that beautiful experience where the baby comes out vaginally, whether epidural or not, and then they lay the baby on your chest and you instantly see them... *sigh*
I also agree with all the other comments... totally different circumstances for each person...so, no more judging, ladies! :-)

Qait said...

I know you got so many comments, but how can I resist? :) I sped past the others so I could respond before I'm 50 years old.

I have...lots of stories, but mainly, I wanted to tell you that I think it's wonderful you found a method that works and that you have been able to deliver "naturally!"

Guess what? I think the whole battle women embark in is ridiculous. NATURAL! Bah! Having a baby--PERIOD--is as commendable as anything in the WORLD. Don't you think so? Shouldn't any mother think so?

I had an epidural, but I don't mind that! I wanted to go natural, but I kept an open mind in case I needed it. Which I really did (that's another story)(I think I've blogged about it).

Anyway, you might be bored of all the feedback your post got, but I just wanted to congratulate you, because you are wonderful. I'm glad that you see things so clearly.

Qait said...

OH! One more thing. It's just interesting.

My epidural wore off by the time I started pushing. So it's kind of funny to me...I felt ALL the pain...all 2 1/2 hours of it, and you know what? I LOVED it. :) And I'm not sorry that I spent the 20+ hours up to that point in lovely, tingly bliss, chatting with my husband inbetween naps. Bravo for the medical world, bravo for women!

Sheesh, it shouldn't be surprising we can't shut up about it!