Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I like being a woman

I like dressing according to my various moods: slobby homebody - intelligent bookworm - Ms. Go-to Energy Woman - OneHottMama.

I like makeup and gettin' pretty.

I like doing my nails.

I like making things beautiful in my home - creating - willing something into being - watching the evolution of my thoughts take place right before my eyes.

I like girlfriends. I like connecting with a fellow WOMAN - that amazing bond that can happen - that deep, indescribable friendship that makes life worth living.

And I love that I get to be part of this amazing miracle called birth - to feel a human being inside me, to be there when he takes his first breath - and then to be an intimate witness to the development of a real person - with likes and dislikes and a whopping big personality.

To be a mother.

So yeah, this whole woman thing - I dig it.

BUT.

image here

What's with the up-down?

You know.

The up-down. The "oh-you-just-had-a-baby-let's-give-you-the-ole-up-down-to-see-exactly-how-fat-you-still-are"- that only other women do.

These are, of course, the same women who - when you lament that you are really sick of wearing maternity clothes, especially when you're not pregnant anymore - dutifully exclaim "it hasn't even been two weeks! Give yourself a break! You look great!"

And then - the up-down.

There's the blatant up-down, eyes traveling slowly but surely from your double chin to your still-swollen ankles. There's the covert up-down, checking out your potbelly when you think I'm not looking. There's the casual up-down, the quick journey just to assess that yes, my hips are still woefully six inches wider than they're supposed to be. It always makes me want to pirouette when I catch someone at it.

"You like what you see, baby?!"


Thing is, I'm guilty of the up-down myself. It's like this instinctual reflex that only a fellow estrogen junkie can comprehend. I don't mean anything by it - as I'm sure other females don't - I'm not judging - as I sincerely hope other females aren't - and yet, I can't help it. I can't blame them.

I'm a woman too.

(It still rocks.)

15 comments:

Sweating in the endless heat said...

Perfectly said:-)

Amanda said...

Oh that's so funny! I do it too! I think it's because women are always comparing ourselves with each other. "Are my hips as big as hers?" "Is my belly smaller than hers?" You know. Always comparing.

Sarah said...

Perhaps they are thinking "wow she looks amazing". I know I've thought that about many women on the receiving end of my up-down. That or "I wish I was that skinny." Usually a "holy crap you're a beast" up-down is a little more discreet.

MommyJ said...

I was just thinking the other day how annoying it is that people think pregnancy is an excuse to talk about how "big" you are. As in...

"Wow... you're A LOT BIGGER than you were the last time I saw you."

Gee. Thanks.

I mean, I know it's different when a baby is what's making you bigger, but still.

Melanie J said...

My baby is 16 days old. I've lost 20 pounds already. And I still don't pass the up down test. I've got tummy pudge and a large butt. BUT, I kind of don't care for once. I'm 35, this is baby #3 and it's way different than when I had #1 at age 24. I've realized that giving my body permission to take time to return to normal (and not defining normal as 135 pounds) is what will make me and my whole family happy. Since I figured I'm commanded to be happy, I'll just embrace slow weight loss and not worry about the up downs. Maybe six months from now I'll be where I want to be on the scale, but I'm going to allow myself to enjoy life and not stress about the journey.

HeatherKitts said...

I love it. Well said! Anyone who says they don't do it is lying :) Sometimes I almost wonder if people do it just for validation purposes...not like, 'Oh, she's so much bigger than me, yay!' But more of a 'Ok, so I'm not the only one who didn't look like my old self after only 2 weeks post-baby, like some of those crazy celebs! We're both normal and that's ok! Yay for us!'. Or at least, that's what I tried to tell myself when people were up-downing me...and when I up-down others. Ha!

Lara said...

You are so funny! But it's all so true.

I'm with MommyJ on this one...it's almost like we relish being able to mention someone's weight just because they're pregnant. Or newly un-pregnant.

Kimberly said...

Oh you crack me up! I've never thought about it but I do it too - gah! I blame my sister-in-law who left the hospital after her first baby in her pre-pregnancy jeans (and they were too big!). I seek confirmation that more women are like me than are like her!

The Prices said...

Yep, I'm an up-downer too.

Kazzy said...

Besides my husband I get dressed up and dolled up for other women. I want the women I come across to think I look good when I get the up-down.

LisAway said...

Spence is three months old and I am still wearing maternity clothes. Mostly that's because I never go ANYWHERE and rarely see people I know so I just feel more comfortable. Also it's because I need to lose about 10 more pounds to feel good in my pre-pregnancy clothes (although I do wear them sometimes). The main reason I want to lose those 10 (maybe 15, please) pounds is not so much because I want to be thin, but because I am not active enough or eating good foods, and I know I need to change that. When I do the weight will come off (I think). That's why I want to get rid of the weight, because then I'll know I'm not eating cookies all day long anymore. Ugh.

But the up-down. Yeah. I thinks it's mostly a commiseration thing. For me, at least. I like that Melanie is just not stresing about it (although at 2 weeks I don't think you should even be THINKING about it yet! :)

Jocelyn Christensen said...

LOL! I'm always looking at people's bodies...it's my gift as a woman to be keenly interested in "shape"! Proud of it! :)

Kristi said...

LOL - I LOVE this post! I still get the "up -down" and my baby is 9 months old! Really, who cares how long it takes to lose all the baby weight - it was hard earned;)

Qait said...

Hm, I really do do that!
I remember getting the up-down once and the girl said "WOW, YOU LOOK---tired."
Riiiight.

Harmony said...

I just have to comment on the picture of a butt. I can't tell if it's a kid butt or an adult butt. Butt, I didn't look too hard. Just thought it was funny.