Wednesday, July 7, 2010


So I read a lot of blogs.

But I don't really know that many bloggers.

Have you noticed this? How many bloggers might take beautiful pictures - write beautiful words - even be beautifully, ridiculously popular - but you really don't know them at all?

I don't like that.

So I'm going to introduce myself. For real.


I'm married. I think my husband is the most amazing person on the face of this planet. Like, really.

I have four boys. I love staying home with them. But I lose my temper more often than I should, and don't get down and play like I should either. I do think I get drastically better every year, though. Maybe I'll be the perfect mom by the time they move out?

They are all two years apart and sometimes I wonder if that was so smart.

But gosh darn it I love my boys.

I'd like a daughter, but don't know if I want another kid. This leads to majorly stressful thoughts.

My parents are getting divorced. Thirty-five years. That makes me sad.

I really hate the hour before dinnertime.

(I think about the statement-two-sentences-ago a lot. Yeah. Moving on.)

I limit the television mucho-lot-o. Sometimes it's hard to stick to it when my children are bored.

I'm strongly religious, and it influences my every thought and deed.

I hate money. I hate credit. I hate debt. I have a hard time when people make poor financial decisions.

I love being outside.

I think I'm fat.

I don't like chit chat. Maybe that's why I hate the phone? I like deep, meaty conversations with lots of soul searching and belly laughs to boot.

I have a very hard time being the first to bridge the communication gap.

I cannot be overly busy or overly at-home. Both drive me nuts.

I still feel like a homely wallflower nerd most of the time.

I'm still cowed by 'the popular kids' most of the time.

I'm still stupid most of the time.

I'm generally open to suggestions, and I admit when I'm wrong. But once I've made a decision, don't get in my face.


I can be really weird.

I fart whenever I feel like it.

I'm crafty, but not in your face about it.

I try to be healthy. But love desserts.

I still bite my fingernails sometimes.

My mom and sister are moving in with us. I'm actually pretty excited about it, but maybe I shouldn't be?

Things are about to change around here.

I struggle with motivation and proactivity.

Most of the time I'd rather be reading a book.

I really want a fudgesicle right now, but I shouldn't ....

I get really depressed when I think of all the things I want to do and buy.

And I want to get to know you better.


Kristina P. said...

I loved this post. I just think you are real, and someone I would love to kick it with. Old school.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I knew I liked you. I was right. When I finally get time to think again, I'll try to reciprocate the post concept.

Sarah said...

I'm sad to hear about your parents. I imagine it must be a really hard time for all of you.
I love that you shared so many things that are normal, like chewing your nails and farting. I sure do think you're grand.
Love from someone who is lucky enough to have met you face to face.

Jill said...

I don't read as many blogs as I used to. I haven't blogged myself since thanksgiving... But I do keep up with you (That Girl I don't really know) because you are so real and obviously, genuinely kind and well intentioned. Thanks for the update. I'll respond briefly in kind:
I'm married. My 32 year old husband had a very unexpected stroke 2 months ago- cause still unknown. His recovery has been fast and full. But my future does not feel so neatly planned as of late. More babies? It's a tough one. My kids are a little older than yours. My 9 year old daughter is growing up way too fast. I love her so much, but each year that goes by our relationship requires more and more conscious effort. I can't imagine the teenage years. My kids don't watch much TV either. Actual, no TV, just very occasional videos and netflix. Their last day of school is tomorrow. I almost went out and bought an antena :) I'm sure we'll get through it.

Melanie J said...

I feel the same way about husband and people who feel like that about their husbands make good friends with each other. Just so you know. And if you don't get down a play enough, then I'M definitely the world's worst mother. I would not even attempt a summer school like you've taken on.

Oh, and daughters are pretty great.

Kazzy said...

I have boys too (well, men) and I knew that was all I was meant to have. I loved being an at-home mom, but now I love being a special ed teacher too, after being home for 19 years.

I am no too crafty, but I love design, color, etc. I wish I had more time to read for pleasure.

I love laughing.

My husband is seriously the best man I know.

I like deeper conversations too. I could talk with my friends until the wee hours and still not get enough.

I am a tech junkie. Computers, my iPhone, etc. I think it has to do with my design-loving...

And I am so sorry about your parents. Wow.

Rocketgirl said...

What a deeelightful post! I wonder if all the "popular" folks you meet are actually as you are popular in virtual land. Cuz you are a minor supah star, you know.

I do have a few thoughts.... good for you on the TV time, but that hour before dinner is made much easier for me when I throw on some Sesame Street:) You are a fantastic ma, and real looker. I hope you can come to love the body you have, rather that the body you were. I personally am miserable because I am not the weight I once was, but I'm aiming at trying to be halthy about it.

And I'm so sorry about your parents. I remember talking to you about the whole situation and it's so heartbreaking. I wish life could be simpler.

Thinking about it, remember that post you did on all the things you are good at? It made me feel VERY intimidated because I'm not good at any of them. You should go back and reread it and do an I Am Woman dance :)

Okay LAST thought - what version of browswer do you have?? Because I think older ones fight with my comments system... dagnabit!!

Jocelyn Christensen said...

Ditto to all those, I'm sorry about your parents!

Danielle said...

Thank you so much for sharing so much about yourself and for making us (me, at least) feel a little less crazy for also doing so many seemingly weird things. :)

I'll be sending good wishes to you and your family during this difficult time with your parents. :( I think it's very good of you guys to accept your sister and mother into your home to live. Even with family, that's still a big change!

Are you sure you don't want to come back to Brazil so we can hang out? You're sure? Really? Yeah, I don't blame you. :)

I thought I'd share a few things with you, too, even if it's a little self-indulgent to talk so much about myself in someone else's comments...

1. I love my husband too and feel so lucky for the real, healthy love that we have.

2. I live in Brazil, and sometimes I don't mind being thousands of miles away from my family. And then I feel a little guilty for thinking that.

3. I'm totally terrified of having kids, and yet I dream about it all the time!

4. I can be way too impatient sometimes. A lot of times.

5. I love cooking, but I love eating out, and I can never decide which one to do more.

6. I used to think that being a stay-at-home mom would be the worst thing ever until it became more of a possibility (marrying a doctor), and I realized it was just fear of being dependent on someone that made me think that. And now I realize that I'd rather be more involved in my kids' upbringing than letting fear control my decisions.

7. I feel totally fat and gross all the time in Brazil because the standard of beauty is so high and so different. (Did you feel like that when you lived here? Manicures, much?)

I think that's enough. I hope my list made you feel less crazy, too. You can tell me what you thought at my blog (you've read it before).

xoxo thanks for being great!

Amy said...

You might be shocked to find out that I thought of you as one of the cool kids growing up. Popular isn't the right word because you and Kim and Harmony were at an obtainable and frendly level! It was always great to be friends with the two of you.

Good luck with you mom and sister moving in. I'm sure the whole divorce situation is extremely difficult, but you have good parents. It will work out given time for the best of everyone. HANG IN THERE!!!

Harmony said...

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Megan said...

Sounds like you're needing a little support thrown your way. I like you just the way you are and I appreciate your honesty. I think we're all in various sizes of the same boat!

Life is going to change in your house a lot. You may find yourself losing some autonomy albeit unwillingly, but you sound like a loving daughter and sister and it wouldn't be surprising. Watch out for that and know that your readers are here to be a support system when you need to vent. I'm so sorry about your parents' marriage. I'd be willing to bet that it threw you into a conversation with your dear husband about avoiding such a pitfall later in life.

I'd like to know how you're doing such a fantastic job with that weight loss?! My youngest is nearly 5 and I still look nearly 6 months pregnant... or is it more these days? All of my 3 babies were over 9-10 lbs...

I think you're great! Keep up the good work! *wink*

Risa said...

Dear That Girl,
I don't read to many blogs, but yours is definately one of the top three that I look forward to. It makes my day when I see that you have updated. You have such an honest, hilarious and witty way of detailing every day life. I look to your blog for ideas of how I can be a better mom (i'm being induced with numero uno tomorrow!).

I was extremely impressed and touched that you would take the time to write me an email and tell me about your experience using Bradley. Partially because of your testimonial my husband and I decided to take the classes and are going to try this thing mostly natural (induction isn't exactly the Bradley way:).

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. Mine just celebrated 29 years and after that long you just assume that they'll always be together. I can't imagine how you're feeling.

Even though i'm usually a silent stalker here are some things about me:

I always figured I would be a working mom, but hubby wanted me to stay home. Luckily we discussed this before we got married. Now that our first is coming I can't imagine having to leave her every day and can't wait to be a sahm.

My husband dumped me 3 times in 5 months of dating. We got married a month and a half after he came back the last time. I think I have always held that against him and we had a very tumultuous first 2 1/2 yrs of marriage. By the time we finally went to counseling (shortly after our 2nd anniversary) I was ready to call it quits and couldn't stand being with him. The Lord has definately softened my heart and now I think he is absolutely wonderful. It helps that he finally graduated college and got a job. YAY!

I have actually always been quite proud of my figure (we'll see what happens post-baby). But never really thought of myself as "pretty".

I want to be super mom, but the thought of it makes me tired.

I love stalking blogs of people I don't know, but am embarassed by it. I even found our daughters name by blog stalking someone I didn't know.

Thank you for being real!!!

Kimberly said...

You're one of the most genuine, "real" bloggers I know and I just love you to pieces.

And wow, things really are going to change around there. I think that's the sort of thing that can't help but be a bit hard and stressy, but has potential awesomeness all over it too. Hoping for as much of the latter for you as is humanly possible.

Katy said...

"I fart whenever I feel like it."


We are now even better friends because of this new fact of yours. Because...guess what...I fart whenever I feel like it too. Awesome! Gas is the cheapest form of entertainment, as my grandma says.

But seriously Becky, I love you! I might steal this post topic...would that be okay? (I'd credit you, of course!)

Simply Sarah *K* said...

Just like you...I read many, many blogs...insanely beautiful, talented people, it's just unreal.

But you should know...I've been reading your blog since you lived in Brazil (creepy, yes? eek <---stalker) and you are right up there with those beautiful, talented people in my book! So keep it up, you've got an audience out here that thinks you rock.

And totally going to have to steal this post idea, thanks! Ü

Emily said...

I just love your blog, and this was fun to read. You seem like someone I would want to hang out with. I hate chit chat, too, and I'm BAD at it. I either say the wrong thing or I don't reciprocate the small talk very well, and it's just no fun. I'd rather have a real conversation where all my crazy comes out and you still like me afterward.

So sorry about your parents. That would be so hard. But I would be excited about my mom moving in, too... except for the circumstances. But that can be your silver lining.

Annette Lyon said...

Reality--something I needed to read in blog-world. Thank you! I nodded and laughed along with your list--and mourn with you over your parents.

And I just noticed your weight loss ticker--holy smokes, girl! Way to go! I wish I could say the same.

Danya said...

I'm a stay at home mom who feels insulted when people tell me I have too much education to do so, especially since parenthood has been so much more challenging than finishing a dissertation.

I feel like my time at home has been very worth while, but I can't wait to go back to work.

My mother lives with us and my husband (mostly) loves it. It works for all of us because 1) my mom has her separate space where the kids need to be invited to go and 2)she routinely does jobs for me that I am grateful for--e.g. she reads to my 2 oldest children every night when I am out of patience.

I am asked when I am due almost every time I go to Costco. I haven't been pregnant for almost three years.

Marcia said...

I'm so very sorry. I can tell you feel weighed down. I'm going to miss your sister here :(

Tobi said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your parents. My parents have been divorced since I was five. So I can empathize with you completely.

I use Mozilla Firefox and I love it! In my opinion it loads faster than Explorer.

HeatherKitts said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and dad. :(

i like whispering too said...

I'm Beth, and tonight, for the first time in my life, I 1. made beans from YOUR recipe, and 2. used a pressure cooker.

And after soaking time, it only took me 2 1/2 hours to made dinner! The pressure cooker filled me with anxiety because it did not just "rock gently back and forth" like my pressure cooker directions told me it would. I almost forgot to get some rice and chicken ready to go with it, but in the end, it tasted pretty darn good! So thanks for teaching me! Hopefully I'll keep getting better at it.

I also made Brazilian lemonade to go with it. YUM.

There's lots of other stuff people should know about me, but I don't have the energy to write it right now. :)

Boy Mom said...

Now that I know you so well I think it would be appropriate for me to give you this...HUG!

You are one of my most favorite bloggers thank you for your perspective and your honesty.

DeNae said...

I'm really sorry about your parents.

And how you feel about your sister and mom moving in will change so frequently while they're there, it's ok to just go with how you feel right now.

And I know I'm fat, and it only matters sometimes.

And I think my husband is pretty darn terrific, too.

And I was never the popular or cool kid, but I play one on the internet :)

And I feel like you and I have had a chance to get to know each other quite well over the last year, something which is a gift I don't take lightly.

The Jensen Family said...

Hey now, you didn't share that you are the sweetest person ever and you make new people in your area feel like they are loved. You also didn't share that you totally look hot after just having a baby! You are such a great person because you are YOU!!!

Richard and Stephanie said...

You forgot to mention your irrational fear of popsicle sticks! :)

Richard and Stephanie said...

And the fact that you can take the credit for an eternal marriage and the cutest half-Asian babies you've ever seen!(Rich was responsible for the previous is my contribution.)

Hang in there! We ♥ you!

InkMom said...

This was a really, really great post. Don't you know? You are one of those popular people. Except even better -- because you're real.

I think my husband and I are one of the great love matches of all time. Seriously. I would stack us against any starcrossed idiots any day of the week. No two people were more perfectly made for each other than he and I. And I think it's the bees knees to have happened into a marital relationship that, while it has it's challenges, is more a source of strength for me than a source of stress. Good heavens, if my marriage were difficult on top of all the other things I have had to endure, I just might not make it. It falls in the category of "tender mercies" that I have a mate willing to face our challenges head on, hand-in-hand, more able to withstand because there are two of us on the same team. Unequivocally.

And plus, he makes my teeth sweat.

I don't practice my viola enough. But I still manage to pull it off whenever I'll be heard by the general public.

I have long thought that I have a lot of potential, but always fall short of the mark in lots of different areas. There's a lot of, "I could have been . . . " going on in my head: a better musician, a better student, a better friend, a writer, an accountant, a servant of the Lord, a teacher, a visiting teacher, and most painfully, a better mother. But I work on that daily, as I struggle to contain the out of control exuberance of some very energetic and special boys, with some very unique behavioral situations.

I am counting the hours until kindergarten starts on Monday. And I claim I won't cry, and I won't for the usual reasons, but I did get a little teary-eyed when I saw all the great books in Connor's classroom, and the bird's nest, and the huge dead moth in a ziploc container, and the gigantic bin of seashells and barnacles, because they are going to have the most fun ever and I hope they love learning as much as I have always loved it.

I felt a distinct moment of inadequacy during the kindergarten parents' meeting yesterday when I realized that these women to whom I will entrust my two boys for 6+ hours a day are better equipped to handle them than I am. Sobering.

I keep hoping that running will get easier. But it still sucks. And I'm still fat.

And I think that's quite enough for now!

~Kristi~ said...

I like you . I like hearing about you. I think more people need morals and values and it makes me smile that you have them. I need more friends. My name is Kristi.

Rachel Sue said...

Have I ever mentioned that I love your honesty? Just thought you should know.

And I think you my have inspired a post. Hmmm.

Charlotte said...

Great post. I could totally relate to a lot of what you wrote.

*~Petra~* said...

How fun to let your readers know so much about you. :) Love your blog. So sorry about your parents. :(

Anne said...

I love this post! Thank you for being you.

Just SO said...

What a great post. I don't like to talk on the phone either. And I thought you were one of the cool kids. Seriously.

I'm sorry about your mom and dad. That has got to be really hard. Good luck with having your mom and your sister stay with you.

Erin said...

I love this post. My favorite part about blogging is "meeting" people who are real.

I'm sorry about your parents. Thank you for the e-mails we shared back and forth once upon a time.