Tuesday, March 8, 2011

In which I cross over

So, I've crossed it. The line. I officially have more posts on Pensievity than I do on The Misplaced Americans.
I've been watching the number creep up for some time. Thinking, "gee, when Pensievity passes The Misplaced Americans, I'll have to do some big superubercool post."

And ... I got nothin'.

Which really beautifully defines how I feel about the whole thing.

I've been brooding about doing a list of my 'best posts' for some time. But every time I look through my history, all my favorite ones are from Brazil.

Reading through my other blog, I laugh out loud quite frequently. I marvel at my cleverness. And I think - what happened to me? I think I left most of my wit and humor - and all of my cleverness - back home in Cabreuva.

(I was definitely skinnier too.)

I loved Brazil. It defined who I am. I still think about it all the time - and talk about it way more than is probably healthy. And - let's be frank - I still link to it on my sidebar. Is it time to take it down?

We spent five years down there. The majority of our marriage. (It'll be nine years this May.) The majority of our parenting was spent down there too. (It'll be seven years in June.) We met people and had experiences there that changed us forever.

So - when do you cross the line from wist - to whine? 

I have absolutely no contrition over moving here. I love Arizona. I have no regrets. It was the right thing to do. We are where we're supposed to be.

But - it's still shocking to me that we've been here almost two years, and we are now, according to blogland,

moving on.


Jocelyn Christensen said...

I loved you in brazil too...but I gotta tell ya, I NEVER look back to your old blog. You're great the way you are!

Megan said...

Keep it around. It's part of you. It's part of why some of us are here now.

My husband went to Brazil on his mission. I get the love that exists for that country and the experience you gain there. I wouldn't make him throw away his memorabilia or missionary journal just because we live in his hometown now.

As we age, we change. It's normal. Moving on is ok, too. But don't forget where you've come from...

Rachel Sue said...

I think you have found the perfect balance. You know where you are supposed to be NOW but you still love where you were. Don't think there is anything whiney about that.

Anonymous said...

We were stationed @ Fort Hood in Texas for five years. We've been in Colorado almost a year now and I still think about Texas. A lot. And I don't even miss Texas.

Colorado is home. It always will be home. I'm estatic to be here. But I think Texas left an indelible impression on me.

By the way the Army Man and I have been married 9 years too. =)

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I love to go back and read your Brazil Blog- it is how I found you, it gave me insight to the place where my son was serving as a missionary, and your love for the country and people literally oozed out of your posts-

It will always be a part of you- and for your children- the blog will be a record of experiences that they will either not remember at all, or very little.

Congrats on the milestone on your new blog.

Kristina P. said...

Truthfully, I always think of you as That Girl in Brazil, but only because that is how I was introduced to you. But I like your current you too. You make it work.

Melanie Jacobson said...

Two years does NOT seem possible.

My in-laws got back a couple of years ago from serving as the president of the MTC there. Brazil is now a permanent part of their fabric, too.

Kimberly said...

Is it possible to move on from a place where so much of your heart still resides? Hmm. I like how Melanie put it, "a permanent part of their fabric."

I think that's okay.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I'm with Melanie. I can't believe it's been two years! Crazy. We've lived in lots of places (even China), and I have to admit that part of me longs for something from every one of them. (I keep thinking that maybe if I figure out what it is I'm supposed to love about here, maybe God will let me move on. Maybe?)

Stepper the Mighty said...

I came to know who you are while you were in Brazil, too. And just like your black beans, your blog is a staple in my life. I don't think of your two blogs as separate - they're both you. They're both awesome. They should both stay (links on sidebar and all).

Have you ever read Sandra Cisneros' short story 'eleven'?


There's an obnoxious link that may or may not work, if you haven't read it.

Anyway, it's about a girl who just turned eleven, and discovers that even though she's eleven and all grown up - she still has the 7 year old and the 3 year old inside her, coming out at inopportune times. :)

And living in Brazil for five years? Five PIVOTAL years of your marriage?! Where two (three?) of your children were born? You don't move on from that. It comes with you.

And I, for one, never tire of your stories of your life there. More, please!

Jill said...

I have lived in Vegas all my life. I didn't even go away for college. sigh. So obviously I don't relate to this post on that level. But what I am now reflecting on is how I am now so completely in a new part of my journey as a mom and that old part does feel so much like a foreign country now. In one month my youngest child will turn 6. ! . And I never really consciously made that decision. I find I have forgotten things about babies. Things I thought were seared into my brain. I've clearly moved on(whether I have another baby at some point or not). What I think I have learned most is how much those things I did then I used to make up my identity. Mostly because I was in my twenties and I guess that is what you do when you are in your twenties. Or at least me. So now, as I continue on my journey I realize how I am separate to some degree from those activities that fill the bulk of my time. And as I become aware of those parts of me that transcend my immediate environment I am happy to know myself.

(thanks for humoring me. I haven't blogged at all in over a year and perhaps I miss.)

Jill said...


The Martos Fudge said...

I do look back on your blog about Brazil, and laugh. I cannot imagine the shock of moving down there from here. It is a dear place in my heart, but I do love the US.

Nikki said...

It took me a long time not to refer to you as "That Girl in Brazil" when talking to Danny about your posts. Cuz you're THAT funny. I love the old you and the new you. Leave it. Don't take it down.

LisAway said...

Everyone else already said it but TWO YEARS ALREADY!?!


I am not looking forward to moving back to the states (assuming we do as we'd like to) because I will always look back longingly. Memories.

And I have gone through the very same thing about blogging in the last year or two. Pregnancy and having a baby just totally changed my blogging "style". (whatever, like I have a style) I'm getting back into the groove, but feel like a different person or something now.

Qait said...

I think it's important that you keep up the link to the old blog! And since you feel like Brazil is such a huge part of you, why not make it at least that much a part of your American blog? :)

Shellie said...

Keep the link and keep the record of those wonderful years. And I don't see why you can't do a post from the old blog on the new either.

raprettyman said...

You don't have to get rid of it, just continue to make it a part of who you are. Your beautiful, inside and out, it's okay that Brazil is a part of that, even if you aren't there anymore.
I've only been here in Mt. Carmel for a little over two years and it is finally starting to feel like home. Like I have connections and people who care. My church family is 98% of that. I have no actual family here. God certainly blessed our family with our church family.
We love the Brazil in you!