Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The eye of the beholder

I'm not ugly.

I know that.

Still, it is the absolute truth to say that pretty girls intimidate me. I remember one undiscovered supermodel, in particular. I was assigned to be her visiting teacher. Poor chick. I took one look at that 5'11" blonde Rosalie with perfect white teeth and turned into a sweaty thirteen year old boy. I couldn't talk to her. I believe I left her three or four messages over the next few weeks, effectively alleviating my guilt, and then I moved.

Poor, poor chick.

I found out later that she was thoroughly depressed during the year she spent in our ward. Everyone was scared of her. No one talked to her. I was told she didn't go on a single date in high school - not even prom. She was just too dang gorgeous.

(I hope none of my kids are THAT good-lookin'.)

My new ward here in Arizona has got something going on in its water. Not only is everyone pregnant (I think the count is up to twelve?), but they're all a size 2 or 4, and fashion models. They, like, ACCESSORIZE. I own three necklaces. Two belts. One purse. Oh, and did I mention blinding beauty? BLINDING. I wear sunglasses to Relief Society.

(Totally lame joke. Feel free to ignore.)

But you know what? These blinding beauties are TOTALLY NORMAL. They struggle with screaming toddlers and wayward loved ones and outrageous bills and sweating in abnormal places. They're just like me.

And it makes me feel PROUD to be their friend. Because the #1 ingredient to friendship is love. And love? Envieth not. And is kind. And maybe - maybe - is just a little proud of another's talents. (Or good looks, as the case may be.)

And I'm suddenly very glad that I'm growing up. Pretty girls have ceased to terrify me - I now see them as potential bosom buddies.

Maturity does have its good points.

More friends, for one thing.

26 comments:

Christa Jeanne said...

Okay, I know you're going to hear this from oodles of other readers, but can I just say - you're gorgeous, too!!! But, amazingly, in an accessible, non-intimidating way. Pretty much the best of both worlds. :)

I always thought it would be amazing to be GORGEOUS until I lived with a GORGEOUS gal my freshman year and realized that the grass wasn't all that much greener on the other side. Getting hit on by random guys and being asked for your digits by the guy in the checkout line while working as a checker was, in fact, incredibly annoying. It made me feel that much happier to be average, even if it meant for lots more Girls' Nights Out by default.

Sharon said...

Wow, we have much in common in the accessorizing domain. One black belt, one brown. That should cover pretty much any outfit, right? Same with necklaces and earrings. And I feel the same way about the gorgeous, but I'm not sure I've grown out of it. I'm trying, though. I know we're all Heavenly Father's children. Some of us just have more gold stars on us than others. (Punchinello reference, anyone?)

Erin said...

I'm wondering what town you live in. I have a cousin who is gorgeous and lives in AZ. Is it in the water? Tell your kids to drink up! (Just kidding.)

You are beautiful. But I certainly understand what you mean, about accessorizing and so forth. Have fun making friends!

DeNae said...

My problem is TINY friends. I'm carrying 50 pounds I don't need, and I'm 5' 7"-ish. And I have these friends who are 5'1" and maybe 90 pounds. I feel like The Hulk. I freaking LOOM over these women.

It is nice, however, to grow up to the point where it isn't the deal breaker it would have been 30 years ago!

Boy Mom said...

"and turned into a sweaty thirteen year old boy" Hilarious!

Kazzy said...

Interesting about the tall blond girl. You know, being average-looking has its benefits!

It's nice to have all kinds of friends. At 45 I still have to reassure myself that I am ok when I am around beautiful people. Poor pathetic me.

wonder woman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Willow Tree said...

Your honesty is beautiful. I think we're all scared of the pretty people on some level. I'm so glad to hear your new group of ladies aren't really Stepford wives though. I love that they are REAL and while outwardly composed, have the same troubles and trials... even while perfectly accessorized.

Blessings,
Carolynn

Kimberly said...

You wrote this just for me, didn't you? I'm struggling to overcome this right now and dang it's hard. Mostly I need to remember that pretty girls in my life now are not the same as the pretty girls who beat on me in high school. Way to remember what it's really all about...now if I could just get that stuck in my head I'd be golden...

Joni said...

Well, it's a good thing you got over this because, well, I'm a freakin' hottie.

Oh. Wait. Nope.

But I totally get it. I ran into a girl I knew in High School who was totally uber-gorgeous, cheerleader, honors society, the most perfect teeth I've ever seen.

She told me she was always jealous of ME. *blink* What?
Yeah, she said she liked that I seemed like I didn't have to deal with all the "superficial friend" issues and that I had friends from all different groups.

That was true. I was taking them wherever I could get them.

Whatever the case, I feel you honey, and if it makes you feel any better, I get totally intimidated by cleverness and wit.

Which is why my palms sweat every time I comment here. :)

As a side note, your post title is the name of my old blog and for a moment I was confused about where I had arrived to.

And no lie, my word verication is "wrockin."

Awesome.

Korbi said...

true dat!

Tobi said...

Well accessorized women are intimidating to me too. I have three necklaces and two pairs of earrings. That should cover every occasion right?

Brittany Ann said...

I need to move to your ward, we've been trying to get pregnan forever. Our next resort is to vacation to all those places with something in the water. :)

wonder woman said...

I feel ya. Though I tend to be more intimidated by wealth than beauty.

BTW, I found another blogger who looks like she could be your sister. justmychickenscratches.blogspot.com

I liked her just because of her picture. (Because she looked like you.) Ü

Kristi said...

That must be why I got so many dates... I am in no way intimidating!!! I have to agree, I am grateful to see that even gorgeous women have to deal with life!

Rachel Sue said...

I really wish you lived closer because honestly, I think we would be great friends. I could have written this post.

My last ward sounds like the ward you are in now. And there was a retired model. Not kidding. Talk about intimidating. . .

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Pretty girls still intimidate me. I'm hoping to mature someday....

gigi said...

Your to cute :)
Glad that you have friends in our new ward and town.

rora said...

Hi! This is your new sister stranger danger friend rori's first comment. I love your blog, and you, and your thoughts....yeah for pensievity love! I just have to say that one of the things that makes me most happy is when we females love eachother and support eachother and help eachother and don't judge eachother. I do love it when all human kind does it as well, but there's just something special that happens when women group and love together. Which is partly I think why I enjoy reading various blogs and their comments. Thanks for being such a sweet fun example! :)

annie valentine said...

You've been on my mind all week and I have no idea why. I love this post, it's hard to like pretty girls.

Debbie said...

That is just an excellent point. Maturity does bring with it a lovely sense of self-worth that most of us are missing in our younger years.

Harmony said...

This has nothing to do with this particular post, but I'm trying to figure out how to get my blog set up like yours, in the way that you have so much space to write. How do you move the text so it goes all the way to the left of the page? Do you have to download some special feature? Mine just goes down the middle.

charrette said...

I hate to admit that this is one - and possibly the only -- prejudice I harbor. beauty. I readily assume these supermodels are brainless and shallow (like most of the fake Barbies I went to high school with) and now I, too, am growing up. My 3 sister-in-laws are all Barbies. (I used to refer to them as Regular Barbie, Malibu Barbie, and Skipper.) And they are the most wonderful sweet sincere intelligent spiritual women. And fabulous mothers. I still have to catch myself. But I'm learning not to take these supermodels at face value and find out who they are on the inside. (God looketh on the heart.)

Thanks for this post. I so needed it today.

JustRandi said...

Your maturity is very impressive to me. I don't think I'm there yet.

:(

Fiauna said...

We must be in the same ward (a state apart, though) because I think all of these girls in my Relief Society as well. It makes me feel frumpy.

Catherine said...

Can I just say that sometimes those of us who read the blogs and don't comment are in a similar situation....like your blog/life looks so great and fabulous, what could I possibly add? Especially if you're a non-LDS person, like me.

Just saying that this is a thing that extends into the blogosphere, too. And that your blog (and life) seem really really cool.